Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
