would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
