I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
