your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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