pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
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bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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