Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
