it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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