I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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