This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
