So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
