Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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