Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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