I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Randomize
