I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
