I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize