Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
