I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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