Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
