I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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