They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
