Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need to stop coming to work sober
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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