The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
wow bdsm is so cute
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
