Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
