Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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