hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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