my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
