This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
