and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
where am i from again
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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