a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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