i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
