I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
