I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
