the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
