There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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