Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he puts the penis in happiness.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
