I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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