A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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