batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
