ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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