Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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