Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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