Someone shit on the floor
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
