There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
