They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
