i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
