Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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