Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
