you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
