i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
