Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize