we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
