So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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