If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
