you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
