I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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