I'm so fucking centered right now
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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