The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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