I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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