"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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