Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
