I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
