love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
