So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
