don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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