maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
