That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
