I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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