I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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