I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
